Beijing

I figured it's a good time for a blog post!!

so with heat + floods + time keeping us from going on any more major escapades for glory, adventure, women, and fame (usually just end up with adventure and a hole in our pockets) I've been stuck in sunny old home sweet home 100 degree Yizheng city.

I made a post about the average day here but I feel like I should go in a little more detail about neat stuff and other random things that come to mind.

BUT FIRST

I'll tell some stories about Beijing, from a while back.

We went to Beijing riding the fastest train in China- the Gao Tie 高铁
our room had 6 beds all in bunk-style, and Jack in I were assigned to the middle bunks. An old man got assigned to the top bunk (there's no easy way to climb up) and it just so happened I really wanted the top bunk too (nobody above you + it's like your own little private alcove of relaxation, but most people don't like it) so I chatted with the other men for a while and asked the old man if he would like to exchange beds (换床) and he said of course no problem. I said thank you and another guy busted out laughing and said "No, he thanks you!!!" and we all laughed.

Mao Zedong's tomb, which holds Mao's body on display

When we were there I made quick friends with our tour group (again reminds me of my dad) and particularly with a little first grader named Sun Mingrui 孙铭蕊 who we all affectionately knew as "Xiao Xue" 小雪 (little snow)。Her grandma and mom were trying to get her to eat an apple outside of the Beijing Museum and I came up and told her she should eat her apple （你苹果吧）and she wasn't expecting that from a foreigner and smiled and ate her apple. Her mom and grandma took a liking to me right then I guess haha. Afterwards Xiao Xue would sing songs for me and once pretended to do an adorable Chinese opera while holding a fan for me. She also loved to learn English words and would show off around me in front of her parents haha

For the rest of the trip we all made light conversation and she would call me 哥哥 (ge ge) which means "big brother"

At the ancient gardens in Beijing (where a lot of western countries invaded and treasures were plundered and destroyed, it remains broken and never rebuilt and they don't shy away from mentioning over and over how western countries did it) she asked me "哥哥，你们的国家为什么入侵我们的国家“ which translates to "Big Brother, why did your country invade ours?" everyone busted out laughing and her mom helped explain I had nothing to do with it haha.

The ruins

At The Great Wall 长城 many other Chinese travelers loved taking pictures with me. Two girls on vacation from college where walking beside me discussing whether or not I could understand them if they asked for a picture got a good shock and laugh when I told them I could understand haha. It went a little something like this, after a good minute of conversation when I finally broke the ice

“他不会听懂普通话。” (he doesn't understand Mandarin.)
“我听懂啦！！” (I do!!)
laughs all around~

 Another picture and we went on our way.

One of the things I didn't like most about Beijing was how commercialized it was. You see the exact same bracelets, fans, pictures of Mao, toys, and hats everywhere you look. All over Beijing. On the streets being sold by old women on literally every street corner within 5 blocks of anything worth traveling to, in shops outside of attractions' gates, in shops inside attractions' gates, in the middle of attractions (the forbidden city must have had at least 7 "official museum shops", after attractions, after after attractions, in grocery stores, EVERYWHERE. If you're a foreigner you're their prime target and it's that much worse. For fun (and 1 yuan [about 16 cents]) I bought a little Chinese flag on the way out of the Temple of Heaven and it fell off the flagpole before I even reached the gate haha.

Our Tour group- Little Xiao Xue in the middle and me and jack on the far left

Jack and I in tiananmen square

After we got off the train from coming back home from Beijing, I was tackled by an adorable running hug from Xiao Xue and she gave me a picture where she wrote a little message to me (ill post a pic) and her parents thanked me and smiled. I gave her a little message on an American dollar bill telling her to never give up studying English and to always study hard.~~

Xiao Xue's letter to me

BARBEQUE

We had some delicious barbecue for the 3rd time the other night. If you ever come to China, make sure you have a local show you to some barbeque.

I can understand now why every Chinese person at UNCG has been completely confused and disappointed when they have American barbecue  as the translation is technically right but still doesn't quite fit the bill. When you talk barbecue with someone from the States, you're talking whole pig roasting over an open flame for about 4-8 hours and tons of barbecue sauce and pork sandwiches.

When you talk barbecue over in China, you're talking spicy/smoky everything you can possibly fit onto a smoky grill. Pork, lamb, chicken wings,  beef, sausage, chicken feet, fish- all fall under barbecue here.

They use the same spice on everything, but it's the particular meat's taste that shines through each and makes them unique. The spice is pretty spicey, but it's the smoky-ness that gives it it's real kick. My eyes water each and every time I eat it- partly from happiness and partly from the pure smoky and spicyness.

""Western"" Food

Nope folks, you can still read read correctly. There are two sets of quotes around the word Western in the title. It deserves two haha.

I just got back from singing Karaoke and lunch with Jack (guobin) [国斌]. The restaurant is a tea house that features western dishes options. Today I had a giant plate of french fries that, with the ketchup, tasted almost like McDonalds, which was a massive treat for me haha. They also have pizza, but for some reason offer about any flavor you can think of except pepperoni. The previous time I went I went for the "standard" Western Dish- the steak.

In just about any western restaurant, called 西餐 (xi can) "shee tson", the main dish on the menu is half-inch thick steak covered in gravy or another kind of sauce. Each steak comes nicely overcooked with a fried egg (middle sadly not runny) and "macaroni" (which is actually just spaghetti noodles haha) in a sauce like watery ketchup, as well as vegetables (piece of a tomato and a piece of carrot). It all comes together burnt/stuck to the bottom of a still-sizzling pan~

Now don't get me wrong, it's actually pretty delicious, especially with the gravy/sauce.

NEXT POST IS ABOUT MORE FOOD GET READY TO LEARN ABOUT CHINESE BBQ AH YEAH FOLKS

Like Disney World

3 days ago we went to Yellow Mountain (黄山) in Anhui Province. I can honestly say it's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The whole time I was there I could not believe it was real and kept thinking this kind of thing you only see in TV, movies, and at animal kingdom in Disney World.

Our trip started with a 6 hour bus ride to Huangshan city where we went to the Lotus Valley and learned about Native Chinese "indians." They had people dressed like them hooping and hollering swinging through the trees over your head as you walked the paths (there were no safety nets so if they fell they were done for) and then we watched them dance and perform a ritual. They made us all hold out red prayer flags and the shaman drew holy water over them and then we wrote our names and tied them around something (a tree, pole, etc).

Second day started with an "international" breakfast and then the trip to the mountain. We took a cable car (the biggest in China apparently) partly up and hoofed it the rest of the way to the peak. When you get to the top all you can see is smokey fog, as they call it the "Sea of Fog" and it literally is just an ocean of fog under you. This day I really got to know my fellow travelers and talked with them a lot while we trekked. I realized that day I'm just like dad. I talk to the nearest person and whoever I can and make good friends instantly when traveling haha. After Yellow Mountain we made the trek back down and went white water rafting. Extremely fun day!

Last day was full of rain and rain and more rain. It was pretty miserable cause I was constantly wet. On the way home I made more friends with the people on the bus and we watched from the windows of the bus as the homes in the valley under the road (the highway was a big bridge through the valleys/hills/mountains of Anhui) were in the process of being flooded. 4 people died according to the newspapers :'(

Back~

I'm back from 3 days in Yellow Mountain, expect some posts soon!! :)

So a guy walks into a hair salon...

...and comes out looking like this.

Please notice exhibit A, if you will. There is a distinct lack of beard and an overabundance of mustache.

So I walked in, asked the lady for a haircut and told her not too short, please. "不太短的." She definately didn't get it too short, as she barely touched it haha. Then I asked her to trim my beard just a little, and again just a little. "只一点一点." So she got to work on it, and my Chinese "dad" came in and told her it was no good. "不行不行." I couldn't see what was happening so I assume he made her switch to the shortest length and when she drew the first swipe along my face I saw their eyes widen and they just looked at each other. Uh oh. It was too late to go back and she finished the job, but must have liked my mustache because she decided to keep it at least for some reason.

Oh well, ~3-4 weeks tops and the good ol' beard will be back to normal :D

First day

One week later- so far

[Video Snapshots] Chinese Funeral

Chinese Snails - A Beginner's Guide

Snails. They're a lot less gross and a lot more delicious than probably most people think!

Imma school you on how snail eating works here, in case you were wondering. If you weren't wondering, IT DOESNT MATTER CAUSE HERE WE GO LOL

Step 1

Find yourself some snails. Preferably cooked by someone who knows what they're doing unless you like not living.

Step 2

Select your target.  A little floating shell island in the spicy soup is what you're looking for. A nice big fat one like this guy will do just fine.

Step 3

Slurp out the tasty spicy soup up in the shell. The louder your slurp the better.

before

after - notice the now-visible "head"

Step 4

With your trusty toothpick in hand, dig in and start pulling him out headfirst- but not all the way.

If it looks like this, you went too far.

no no no

Step 5

While still in the shell, use your toothpick or teeth to break off the "head." Don't eat the rest of the snail because it's something akin to poop, as I was told.

Step 6

You know what to do ;^)

After it's all said and done, you should have a pile of shells that looks something like mine!

If You Don't Eat All Your Rice...

...you'll get struck by lightning on your head, according to my Chinese grandpa.

       I just got back from two days in Yangzhou where we climbed a 9 floor Buddhist temple, saw a ton of monks, and I got sunburn. Also found the majority of my gifts/souvenirs today so I can check that one off the to-do list.

We played video games and watched a movie- the basketball hoops were the most popular in the arcade and had people crowding them constantly. Basketball is HUGE here. At the movies, you have to choose a seat in the theater and you get a ticket with your specific chair number. There's also a menu at the movies where you can order restaurant-style desserts, snacks, and meals while you watch the movie.

We also visited a wholesale stuffed animal place. Imagine a huge mall with 3 floors and hundreds of shops, but each shop is full of stuffed animals and stuffed animals alone. There were thousands. This kind of place people buy them for bottom-prices and resell them on websites like Amazon, etc.

 Today we're going out for "western" food (西餐) and then watching yet another movie with friends, so I'll report back on how that goes.

 Whoever's reading this, please remember to stay safe and eat all of your rice.

"Where in the world is Jordan??" - you

I've made a map using google maps that lets you see where points of interest are and interesting little stories about places around me. If you guys want to know where I am take a look!
View My home in Yizheng in a larger map

Little Friends Pt. 2 - 小朋友

Left to Right: Mike, Peter, Hanna, Elaine, me, Tanya, Suzy, Michael

For the second time I visited the cram school and upon arriving was informed they wanted me to teach some english. I went into the classroom and was greeted with an overwhelming practically shouted "HELLO" from all the kids and when I told them my name was greeted with an equally underwhelming look of confusion on everyones face about the pronunciation. All it took was the words "like Michael Jordan" for it to click with everyone haha.

I taught them the difference between  on, in, under, and near, and then quizzed each kid individually. Everyone got it~

I go into the next room and these kids are nuts. 'Nuts' in the immediately fall in love with them all kind of 'nuts'. During introductions I gave the ones who didn't have English names their very own English name and they thought it was the greatest. A little boy named Michael welcomed me and introduced himself by jumping into the middle of the room and doing what he called the "duck dance" to the roar of laughter of the class.

We played a game they called "change the chairs" where one person memorizes everyone in the room. Everyone counts to 10 in english and the person up front turns around and everyone scrambles as fast as they can to change seats. The person in front turns around and has to put everyone back in their original seats.

It was my turn to play. After turning back around, the first thing I did was put Michael into the middle of the room and put him into the "duck dance" position as if that was his proper place/seat. This effectively began the laughing/giggling fit mood of the class that wouldn't end until after I had said goodbye and left.

They thought it was hilarious when I sat among them and pretended to be one of them. When the person up front turned around I was pretending to read a book (upside down on accident) to jokingly hide my face. I looked around and all the other kids were giggling hard and doing the exact same- even  down to the upside down book. Michael (the class clown) had his book on his head like a hat.

After a few more rounds we all took pictures together and I taught them how to spell their English names. After it was over the teacher told me to come back any time and that they'd pay me if I wanted to ever teach English there~

Elaine wanted a picture with me doing Gangnam Style

Michael and I doing his famous "Duck Dance"

Little Friends Pt. 1 - 小朋友

The teachers and I

Over the past few days we've visited a "cram" school (补习班) called New Oriental Education. This kind of school is common in China apparently- parents send their kids to these schools when not in actual school so they can practice and further their studies be it math, English, or anything they need to practice.

The first day was volunteering helping with educational games for the younger kids which sounded easy enough. When the kid comes in say something in English and cross off that they've played our game and send them on their way to play it.

Yeah haha no

The door explodes with kids and all I can get out of them in the split second I saw them was "Hello!" "Hi!" and "Thank you!"as I frantically scratch off where they were to play this game. The bravest kids would ask "What's your name?" and "Where are you from?" while it was a struggle to get a "hi" out of the shyest ones. Before long the kids were literally squeezed into the room and Jack had to hold his arms out to hold them back and stop them from flooding the room.

In about an hour and a half it was all over and I got some pictures with the teachers.

First post

hi hi first post placeholder cool neat wow alright fun times ahead choo choo chugga chugga word